


Where Fear Ends (Maybe I Begin)

by flipflop_diva



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Introspection, POV Wanda Maximoff, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7286221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanda never used to be afraid of herself. But times change, and sometimes you have to learn to start over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Fear Ends (Maybe I Begin)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ambyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambyr/gifts).



> Written as a gift for Ambyr, who wanted to see Wanda settling into her own skin a bit, making choices, and figuring out who she wants to be in a post CA:CW world. I hope you enjoy!

For the three weeks they were locked in The Raft, it was all Wanda could think about — like a nightmare that kept repeating over and over and over, even though she almost never slept and tried hard not to even close her eyes, for fear the images would be worse.

Sometimes it was like it was all happening again right there in front of her open eyes, in her cell with her. She could hear the sound the building made as it exploded into flames, could feel the instant wave of heat. If she moved her eyes even a fraction of an inch she could see all the faces, staring at her with identical expressions of horror and fear, and she felt sick to her stomach.

She remembered what Vision had told her back at the compound, that he wished people could see her for who she was, but who was she now anyway, with or without her powers? And if they ever got out of this prison, was there even a way to not use them ever again?

The last thing she had ever wanted was for people to fear her. Maybe, once upon a time, she had wanted Tony Stark to fear her (as she and Pietro had feared him) and thus she had wanted the rest of the Avengers to fear her, too, but that seemed like a lifetime ago, like it was another person who had wanted that and not her at all. 

After her brother died, she had vowed to never be that person again, yet here she was, stuck in a cage in a straitjacket, unable to move, a shock collar around her neck, because even the people who now had complete control over her every move feared what she could do.

And maybe they were right. Maybe they should fear her. For not the first time, Wanda wished she could go back in time and make a different choice.

•••

Wakanda was little better than The Raft. No, Wanda thought to herself, that was unfair. King T’Challa had gone out of his way to provide them all a safe place to live, going against the wishes of half the world and risking untold political consequences if anyone were to find out. He had given them all a house to stay in, food to eat, the freedom to at least take walks around the area. 

But it still felt like a prison, especially to Wanda. They could only go so far on their own, they weren’t allowed to leave the country, they weren’t allowed to fight, they definitely weren’t allowed to communicate with anyone who didn’t already know where they were in case the wrong people somehow found out. King T’Challa hadn’t strictly forbidden anyone from using their powers, but Wanda hadn’t missed the way he had looked at her when he’d released her from her shackles, as though wondering if she was going to enact revenge on him. She hadn’t been planning on it, but it made her wish even more that she could somehow get rid of her powers forever.

It was lonely here in Wakanda, too, even if half the team was around. But she was used to spending her time with Vision. She was used to training with Natasha. She was used to training in general. But there were only so many laps she could run around the neighborhood, only so many times she could punch the training bag. Her powers were part of her and she couldn’t use them and she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. 

She felt stuck, trapped and a little hopeless.

•••

Clint’s family showed up three weeks after they arrived in Wakanda, because it was safer for everyone to come to him than for him to try to go back to them. King T’Challa told them Tony had helped organize it, which at least gave them all a little hope that maybe someday their future would consist of more than just laying low and hoping the world didn’t go to hell when they couldn’t help save it.

Wanda had never met Clint’s family before, but she had heard a lot about them. Clint — and Natasha — had shown her so many pictures and told her so many stories, she almost felt like she knew them. Except she didn’t, and she didn’t think now was the best time to do so. It was safer for her to stay away from all of them, just in case.

Unfortunately for her, Lila and Cooper didn’t seem to agree with this line of thinking. Maybe it was because Wanda was the youngest, or maybe because Clint had talked about her to his children, but they both seemed fascinated by her. No matter where she seemed to go in the house they were all living in, Cooper and Lila seemed to be there, too. Wanda was in the kitchen? Cooper and Lila were in there getting snacks. Wanda was in the living room? Cooper and Lila were in there playing with toys. Wanda was outside? The kids were out there trying out scooters and bicycles and throwing balls.

They didn’t talk to her, but it was hard for Wanda to miss the way they watched her, the way they openly peered at her. She wanted to go hide in her room, but she almost thought they would find a way to follow here in there, too.

It took six days of living in the same house before Lila actually sat down beside her. Wanda was sitting on the front porch, staring out at the Wakandan horizon, dreaming about a future where she could maybe just be a normal girl, walking on the streets, laughing with her friends, eating at restaurants without thinking twice.

She turned her head when she felt someone brush her arm and blinked down at the little girl, who was staring up at her with wide eyes. 

“My daddy says you can move things with your mind,” she said simply.

Wanda didn’t know how to answer that. She settled on a version of the truth. “I don’t do that anymore.”

“Why?” Now Cooper had made his way over to them. “But that’s so cool.”

“I hurt people.”

Lila scrunched her nose. “My daddy says that was an accident. He says you help people.” 

Now Wanda really didn’t know what to say.

“It was an accident,” she finally said. “But I shouldn’t-”

“Show us!” Cooper interrupted.

“Show you?”

“Your powers! Can you? We want to see!” He grinned at her, in the way only little kids can grin. “Please?”

“Please?” Lila added.

“I don’t want to scare you …”

“I’m not scared of anything!” Cooper declared. 

“I want to see,” Lila said.

Wanda constrained a sigh. The way they were looking at her, pleading with her, wanting to see … They looked so hopeful, so excited. 

They looked at her, Wanda realized suddenly, like she was amazing, not like she was scary. Like she could do something that they admired, not something they feared.

Clint had told them what she could do, and they wanted to see it. They wanted to be around her. They wanted to talk to her.

Wanda lifted her hand into the air, waggled her fingers and, for the first time in weeks, watched the red light dance.

The kids squealed. Not in fear. In _joy_. Wanda clasped her other hand over her first one, pulled the red light out further.

The kids squealed more and clapped their hands. Cooper was almost dancing in glee as he watched her.

Wanda heard a noise off to the side. She turned her head. Clint was standing there, watching her and the kids. For a second, she faltered, the red light between her hands disappearing immediately. The kids groaned. Clint nodded at her, smiled. 

“Go on,” she saw him mouth, and it was as if the weight of the world suddenly lifted from her shoulders.

Clint trusted her with his kids. His kids trusted her with their presence. They weren’t scared. They weren’t scared at all.

Wanda smiled and relaxed, then placed her hands together, summoning her powers. 

It felt nice.


End file.
